Everyone sits down, the rules get written, and they apply to the whole house. The content of the plan matters less than the two features that define it: it is explicit, so nobody is improvising at bedtime, and it binds the adults, so it is a rule about the household rather than a rule about being a child. It is the approach most likely to survive a second parent disagreeing, because the disagreement gets had once and written down.
What it asks of you
- Actually sitting down and writing it, which most households never get to
- Living under your own rule, including the part about phones at dinner
- Revisiting it, because a plan written for a five-year-old is wrong for an eight-year-old
No externally imposed limit, on the argument that a child who has never regulated their own use has not learned to, and will meet the problem later with less support and a worse device. You talk about how it feels, you notice out loud when an afternoon has gone, and you let the natural consequences — the wasted Saturday, the bad sleep — do the teaching. The position demands a great deal of trust and is the one most likely to be regretted.
What it asks of you
- Genuine nerve, and a long horizon before it looks like it is working
- Frequent, non-judgemental conversation, which is more work than a timer
- Watching a child overdo it without stepping in, repeatedly
- An honest look at whether this is a position or a surrender — they look identical from outside